Thursday, February 5, 2009

Hollywood House Of Pizza

Hiya pizzafaces. My name is Alaina Dente - call me Al - and I'm a pizzathusiast and an international playgirl. For the next sixty years, I will be trying to live in every major city in the world, taking deep samples of their pizza interpretations and their male populations aged 18 - 35. I'll be letting you in on the warmest, softest, sauciest secrets as my doughy behind uncovers them. So sit back, unbuckle, and get ready to eat your [enter organ here] out.

Because there is no Italian population in Los Angeles, there are only two pizzerias in Hollywood, which have the same name and are on the same street. Greco New York Pizza, and the other Greco New York Pizza, on Hollywood Boulevard, houses the wobbly after-party of Geisha House, Cinespace, and Ripley's Believe It Or Not! Museum. Back when I used to go clubbing [with my dad's girlfriend's NY State I.D.] I would up in GNYP before [with friends] or after [with the guy with a backpack who says he has coke but needs a place to do it]. For $1.50 you can get a two-plate-long slide of thin crust pizza that definitely resuscitates but otherwise tastes like w/e you sprinkle on it. As a way of encouraging patrons to leave GNYP as soon as their slice is gone, the eatery does not discriminate against schizophrenics coming in to scream and go through their garbage pails.

Monday, December 15, 2008

WIth pizza power comes pizza responsibility

Just like the trees on the edge of a river bend, lift up their branches to the sun above, we spend our lifetime reaching for a pizza because everyone needs a pizza to love. This is a blog about fidelity. About constancy. As I write this, there is a war in the middle east, a complete cultural collapse in the wake of a major national financial crisis, and a future rife with uncertainty. As awful as that all sounds, we can not lose our head. In my heart of hearts, I believe pizza can fix anything. Of course not literally (I am not an idiot) but if I hit a lot of horses with my car, the owners of those horses would surely be considerably less upset after eating pizza. But I digress. This blog is a pizzareality out of a pizzafantasy in a pizzadream. We will bring exciting pizza news, plenty of slice reviews, and all sorts of insider pizza info you might not find out anywhere else (hint: pizza is fantastic). So kick back, enjoy a slice, and pizza.